Vignette#1

"'Ma, hindi dapat mamatay si Manong."

I opened my eyes, turned to the direction of the voice, and found a little girl. She was probably around six or seven years old with smooth, dark skin, long hair, and pretty little lips that always seemed to be pouting. She looked up at a woman who was the spitting image of herself, only older, and frowned.

A look of worry crossed the older woman's face, as if unsure how to respond to the girl's last statement.

I stood up, watched as the older woman kneeled down to the girl's eye level, smoothed the girl's hair, and heaved a deep breath as she opened her mouth to explain.

An explanation I didn't get to hear because of a group of youngsters that brushed past me.

I turned to the direction they were heading - behind me, and studied their pretty faces from afar. I know I've seen them somewhere before even if I couldn't place them at the moment. Artistas, probably? I thought to myself. They look harried, worried - one of them was even close to tears - as they walked briskly along the white halls, and met with another cluster of people at the end of it. A man wearing a white lab coat - a doctor, obviously - was speaking before the cluster, and everyone in the cluster was listening to him in rapt attention.

Interest piqued, I sauntered over to the cluster. Surely, they won't mind, or even notice, an usi like myself, hovering nearby, hoping to catch some juicy chismis.

"We tried. For 45 minutes."

And the rest was drowned by hiccupping and sobbing. I saw one of the older guys - the one with salt-and-pepper hair - clench his fist, even as his face remained impassive. I felt sad for him, knowing somehow, that it were the poker-faced people who felt the most heart-wrenching emotions.

If only I were one of the people in that cluster, it would have been him I hugged first. If I knew him better, I'd say that in the cluster, he was the person most burdened.

...if I knew him.

I blinked. Something had caught my eye, and I rubbed at it furiously. I heard the doctor excusing himself from the (drama) sadness, and brushed past me, leaving a trail of cold wind in his wake.

I looked up, and saw the cluster huddling even tighter and tighter. Salt-and-pepper guy unclenched his fist and pushed the door that was right behind where the doctor once was. The door slammed right back into place, almost as if it were angry itself.

I glanced at the cluster of people that he had left, at the door that was still slightly swiveling back and forth, back at the group, and then at the door that was now slowly quieting down.

I shrugged to myself, and decided to take full advantage of my being an usi and followed salt-and-pepper guy into the room.

The little girl had prepared me for it, of course. I knew someone had died. But who Manong was...

One of the nurses was holding a white sheet by its edges and pulling it up and over the body that lay there. Salt-and-pepper guy motioned for the nurse to stop, and she set the sheet down and excused herself from the room. Like the doctor, she brushed past me and left a trail of cold wind in her wake.

But, unlike the doctor, she had given me the benefit of a hasty glance.

Salt-and-pepper guy was blocking my view of the dead person's face, and for all the usi in me, I didn't think it proper to intrude his space during his moment of grief.

Especially now that I could see his shoulders visibly shaking.

And then I heard the door slam shut behind me.

Someone had entered.

"Fancy seeing you here."

I ignored the speaker, thinking that the statement was for the salt-and-pepper guy.

The speaker cleared his throat.

Salt-and-pepper guy didn't even seem to hear it, so I turned around to see who it was.

"Hi."

It was young man, his face unlined, his smile reaching only until his cheeks because his eyes were the saddest pair I've ever laid *my* eyes on.

Like the earlier group that had brushed past me, it felt like I knew who he was.

Something deep, deep inside me knew who he was.

"Hello."

It was like meeting an old friend after a very, very long time of not seeing each other.

"You were talking to me?"

He nodded.

"Oh."

Though, like an old friend you've just seen again, you can't be sure that he really is *your* old friend...

He reached out his hand. "We need to go now."

...until of course, he introduces himself.

I glanced at his outstretched hand,

And paused.

He must have noticed the hesitation. "I never get why you people want to hang around watching all these happening. Actually, I never get it why you people have to go on like this."

"...what?"

"Crying."

"Oh." I tried to process what he was getting at. "It's only natural, I guess."

"I don't think you people really understand what 'natural' is."

"...well."

I didn't know what to say.

"You can't stay here, y'know." He continued. "It's not... natural."

I sighed.

"Let's go."

"Now?"

He nodded, and I sighed again.

I took his hand, and he lead me towards the door.

He pushed the door open, and for the last time, I closed my eyes.